Fat Kamina of the GurrenDan, Avatar Gian
by Uncle.Dragon
Summary: Aya Shameimaru wrote an essay for her newfound sex buddy, Gian, which details his beginnings clearly. Only for those who had read 'Friendly Discussion", Gian belongs to Doraemon.


_Water._

_Earth._

_Fire._

_Air._

_Back in the world where I came from, the four nations once coexisted in peace and harmony (if you don't count the hundred year war started by Firelord Sozin, that is.), in fact, since the guy before me, Avatar Aang, saved the world, the four nations become so peaceful, that they slowly merged into one huge Union altogether. The technology of my world becomes so advanced, that bending of the elements is no longer seemed necessary to the people (they got a point there actually, like who the hell would still use Firebending to roast your enemies when you have a man made flamethrower to do it for you?). The number of benders become so less, that these bozos called the Purple Lightning used the opportunity to strike._

_These Purple Lightning fucktards are most possibly the most powerful benders that ever existed (the other one being the Order of the White Lotus, only thing is that the Order are mostly disbanded with the passing of Iroh, who died peacefully in his sleep, and also not to mention these guys are much younger than those geezers), those 'man-made' weapons called the Reploids (Animal androids that reply and respond like a human, duh) never stood a chance, and worse still, they helped the Purple- err, Bozos to do their work for them!_

_I was just a hooligan working at my mommy's grocery store, a neighbourhood bully to be exact, until those elder guys showed up and chose me as the new Avatar! That was the big break for me, Takeshi Goda, likes to be called Gian for obvious reasons (a giant with no letter T), and so they sent me across the world in a secret escort to master all the 4 elements (they don't want the bozos to know that the Avatar is back to kick their butts, just in case either you guys are too dumb to figure it out or you guys are Muslims pigs to begin with.), when I mastered the 4 elements and my ultimate techniques, _

_1) Giga Drill Breaker,_

_2) Kame-hame-ha _

_3) Super Saiyan Avatar state,_

_I went straight into the Union Govt. house to kick some purple butts and scrap some Reploids, like fuck you guys should've seen their Nazi faces, they were like "Wah lao eh!" "We are gonna die!" "Allah please help us!" and "Siah lah, head cha la!" and I was like "Woosh!" "Kapow!" "Kablam!" "Crakaboom!" "Wham!" and "Say your prayers mother fuckers!"_

_Then came the final battle, a fight with the big honchos, a Blonde, blind girl called Sigma, wearing a Rau le Creuset mask, and AZULA! That right, the nefarious 'Firelord for a day' Princess Azula! (How did she, who is from a few hundred years ago, end up here in the future?) I took on the both of them alone and managed to drill a hole through Azula (she was like trying to protect her girlfriend or something…) and that, pissed Sigma off (maybe they really are Lesbos). A pissed off Sigma then revealed her secret – she was the real Avatar! Not me! _

_Those elders used me because of one great secret they never told me about – Any Tom, Dick and Harry can easily become an Avatar Aang if they knew how to master their own chakras!_

_For Sigma's case, she was something like a test tube baby, made from stem cell samples of the world's greatest benders to become a custom Avatar soldier with mastery of more than the 4 elements, she was blind because she was used with the cell sample of Bei-fong Toph, the strongest Earthbender, and bloodthirsty because of Ozai's cell sample, since he was one of the strongest Firebenders._

_Before I could finish her off, she opened a gateway using a thingy called Voidbending, and kicked me into the void and worse still she used spiritual bending on me to take away all my bending! I tried to fight back but Azula interfered and zapped me with lightning! And you guys knew what happened next, I was sent spinning around and around in the dark until I crash landed on the Hakurei shrine, destroying it like a meteor impact. Reimu and Marisa, the first two hotties I met, tied me up and sent me flying to another shrine, the Moriya shrine where I met more hotties, Sanae, that frog and Kanako._

_I have been living at Sanae's since then, trying to get my bending back, I start with Air bending._

_I am trying hard to return and save my world as an Avatar, Avatar Gian, fat Kamina of the Gurren-dan!_

**Avatar – Gian's bizarre adventures**

"How do you like it?" Aya Shameimaru asked Gian, who is sweaty from his bending drills, a review on her essay.

Gian responded with a big and earnest thumb up, while not looking at the tengu.

Understood what Gian meant, Aya squealed and gave the fat man a wet sloppy kiss.

The essay was published as the headlines in the morning issue of Bunbunmaru newspaper the next day.


End file.
